In June, I was sort of to rather sick for nearly 3 weeks. For three days at the beginning, I just laid on the couch or stared at the wall. Coach said I couldn't ride until I could walk 15 minutes. Lyme test came back negative, after they lost it once. Who knows what I had, but I was struggling to get 1500 calories a day during a time in the year where normally I'm struggling not to inhale everything I see. I lost 10 pounds in two weeks. I DNF'd from two races in one weekend. I didn't get stronger.
I'm keeping my weight down (sometimes, you should look a gift horse in the mouth!) because it feels good. But getting my legs back took longer than I expected and I was pissed about it. Just about two weeks ago, I started to feel pep in my step again. Two weeks ago we said goodbye to my dog, sending him to puppy heaven if there is such a place and if there isn't, letting him rest forever on a farm in Pennsylvania without the pain of a huge tumor in his head.
Sunday, we raced at Michaux. That race report will come. Soon.
In the meantime, here's what I've learned lately. My emotional well-being directly impacts my marriage and my training. Whew, there, I said it. Doesn't matter how tough I was prettending to be. I think I was really frustrated about the setback in training from being sick and even more overwhelmed dealing with a dying pet. I took it out on my husband, my coach, my other dog, perhaps most of all, myself. Some days, I took it out on the bike and got good training in. Other days, I wound up sitting in the grass on the side of the road, crying about not wanting to ride. One day, I nearly did that mountain biking even though I was with good friends at one of my favorite places to ride.
I got some of it back at Fair Hill. Had a good day on the bike where my body didn't revolt. Got a bit of confidence back. I've had a few great days on the bike plus a few really crappy ones thrown in since then.
I don't quite have my edge back for racing. The "killer instinct". The feeling of always being chased and chasing. But I'm getting there. I trust my body again. I'm starting to trust my head. The rest will come. Which is especially good because cross season is approaching quickly.